SOriginally published in the June 1915 issue of American Magazine and anthologized in the Library of America's new collection of Ring Lardner's stories. Reprinted here with permission.
Sit down here a while, kid, and I'll give you the dope on this guy. You say you didn't see him do nothin' wonderful? But you only seen him in one serious. Wait till you been in the league more'n a week or two before you go judgin' ball players. He may of been sick when you played agin him. Even when he's sick, though, he's got everybody I ever seen skun, and I've saw all the best of 'em.
Say, he ain't worth nothin' to that club; no, nothin'! I don't know what pay he's gettin', but whatever it is, it ain't enough. If they'd split the receipts ﬁfty-ﬁfty with that bird, they wouldn't be gettin' none the worst of it. That bunch could get along just as well without him as a train could without no engine.
He's twicet the ball player now that he was when he come up. He didn't seem to have no sense when he broke in; he run bases like a fool and was a mark for a good pitcher or catcher. They used to just lay for him when he got on. Sully used to tell the pitchers to do nothin' but waste balls when he was on ﬁrst or second base. It was pretty near always good dope, too, because they'd generally nail him off one base or the other, or catch him tryin' to go to the next one. But Sully had to make perfect pegs to get him even when he knowed beforehand that he was goin'. Sully was the boy that could make them perfect pegs, too. Don't forget that.
Cobb seemed to think they was only one rule in the book, and that was a rule providin' that nobody could stay on one base more'n one second. They tell me that before he got into the South Atlantic League he was with a club down there in Georgia called the Royston Rompers. Maybe he thought he had to keep on rompin' up here.
Another thing was that he couldn't hit a left-hander very good. Doc W'ite used to make him look like a sucker. Doc was a fox to begin with, and he always give you just what you wasn't lookin' for. And then, his curve ball was somethin' Ty hadn't never saw before and it certainly did fool him. He'd hand Cobb a couple o' curves and the baby'd miss 'em a foot. Then, when he was expectin' another one, Doc'd shoot his fast one right past his chin and make a monkey out of him.
That was when he ﬁrst come up here. But Ty ain't the guy that's goin' to stay fooled all the time. When he wises up that somebody's got somethin' on him, he don't sleep nor do nothin' till he ﬁgures out a way to get even. It's a good thing Doc had his chancet to laugh when he did, because Cobb did most o' the laughin' after a couple o' seasons of it. He seen he couldn't hit the curve when it was breakin', so he stood way back in the box and waited till it'd broke. Then he nailed it. When Ty'd learned that trick, Doc got so's he was well pleased when the balls this guy hit off'n him stayed in the park.
It was the same way with every pitcher that had his number when he ﬁrst busted in. He got to 'em in short order and, before long, nobody was foolin' him so's you could notice it. Right now he's as good agin left-handers as he is agin regular fellas. And if they's any pitcher in baseball that's got him fooled, he's keepin' the fact well concealed.
I was tellin' you what a wild base-runner he was at ﬁrst. Well, he's still takin' chances that nobody else takes, but he's usin' judgment with it. He don't run no more just for the sake o' runnin'. They was a time when the guy on the base ahead of him was afraid all the time that he'd get spiked in the heels. But no more o' that. They's no more danger of him causin' a rear end collision, providin' the guy ahead don't blockade the right o' way too long.
You may not believe it, but I'll bet most o' these here catchers would rather have somebody on second base when Ty's on ﬁrst base than to have him on ﬁrst base alone. They know he ain't goin' to pull no John Anderson and they feel pretty safe when he can't steal without bumpin' into one of his own teammates. But when the track's all clear, look out!
All my life I been hearin' about the slow, easy-goin' Southerner. Well, Ty's easy-goin' all right—like a million-dollar tourin' car. But if Southerners is slow, he must be kiddin' us when he says he was born down South. He must of came from up there where Doc Cook pretty near got to.
You say you've heard ball players talk about how lucky he was. Yes, he is lucky. But it's because he makes his own luck. If he's got horseshoes, he's his own blacksmith. You got to have the ability ﬁrst, and the luck'll string along with you. Look at Connie Mack and John D. and some o' them fellas.
You know I ain't played no ball for the last few years, but I seen a lot of it played. And I don't overlook no chancet to watch this here Tyrus. I've saw him agin every club in the American League and I've saw him pull more stuff than any other guy ever dreamed of. Lots o' times, after seein' him get away with somethin', I've said to myself: "Gosh, he's a lucky stiff !" But right afterward, I've thought: "Yes, and why don't nobody else have that luck? Because they don't go out and get it."
I remember one time in Chi, a year or two ago. The Sox was two to the bad and it was the ninth innin'. They was two men down. Bodie was on second base and somebody hits a single to center ﬁeld. Bodie tries to score. It wasn't good baseball to take the chancet, because that run wasn't goin' to do no good without another one to put with it. Cobb pegs to the plate and the umps calls Bodie out, though it looked to everybody like he was safe. Well, it was a bad play of Bodie's, wasn't it? Yes. Well then, it was a bad play o' Cobb's to make the throw. If Detroit hadn't of got the best o' that decision, the peg home would of let the man that hit the ball go to second and be planted there in position to score the tyin' run on another base hit. Where if Ty had of played it safe, like almost anybody would, the batter'd of been held on ﬁrst base where it would take two base hits or a good long wallop to score him. It was lucky for Ty that the umps happened to guess wrong. But say, I think that guy's pretty near smart enough to know when a umpire's goin' to make a rotten decision.
O' course you know that Ty gets to ﬁrst base more'n anybody in the world. In the ﬁrst place, he always manages to hit better'n anybody. And when he don't hit safe, but just bounds one to some inﬁelder, the bettin's 2 to 1 that the ball will be booted or throwed wild. That's his luck, is it? No, sir. It's no such a thing. It's his speed. The inﬁelder knows he ain't got no time to spare. He's got to make the play faster'n he would for anybody else, and the result is that he balls it all up. He tries to throw to ﬁrst base before he's got the pill to throw, or else he hurries the throw so much that he don't have no time to aim. Some o' the ball players round the league says that the scorers favor Ty and give him a base hit on almost anything. Well, I think they ought to. I don't believe in handin' a error to a fella when he's hurried and worried to death. If you tried to make the play like you do for other guys, Ty'd beat the ball to ﬁrst base and then you'd get a hot call from the bench for loaﬁn'.
If you'd saw him play as much baseball as I have, you wouldn't be claimin' he was overrated. I ain't goin to come right out and say he's the best ever, because they was some old-timers I never seen. (Comiskey, though, who's saw 'em all, slips it to him.) I just want to tell you some o' the things he's did, and if you can show me his equal, lead me to him and I'll take off my hat.
Detroit was playin' the Ath-a-letics oncet. You know they ain't no club that the Tigers looks better agin than the Atha-letics, and Cobb's more of a devil in Philly than anywheres else. Well, this was when he was battin' fourth and Jim Delahanty was followin' him. Ty singles and Del slips him the hit and run sign on the ﬁrst ball. The ball was pitched a little outside, and Del cuts it down past Harry Davis for a single to right ﬁeld. Do you know what Cobb done? He scored; that's all. And they wasn't no boot made, neither. Danny Murphy picked the ball up clean and pegged it to Davis and Davis relays it straight home to Ira Thomas. Ty was there ahead of it. If I hadn't o' been watchin' close, I'd o' thought he forgot to touch two or three bases. But, no, sir. He didn't miss none of 'em. They may be other guys that could do that if they tried, but the diff 'rence between them and Cobb is that he done it and they didn't. Oh, I guess other fellas has scored from ﬁrst base on a long single in the hit and run, but not when the ball was handled perfectly clean like this one.
Well, here's another one: I forget the exact details, except that the game was between the White Sox and Detroit and that Tannehill was playin' third base at the time, and that the score was tied when Cobb pulled it. It was the eighth innin'. He was on ﬁrst base. The next guy hits a single to left ﬁeld. Ty, o' course, rounds second and starts for third. The left ﬁelder makes a rotten peg and the pill comes rollin' in. Ty has the play beat a mile and they ain't no occasion for him to slide. But he slid, and do you know what he done? He took a healthy kick at that rollin' ball and sent it clear over to the grand stand. Then he jumped to his feet and kept on goin'. He was acrost the plate with the winnin' run before nobody'd realized what he'd did. It's agin the rules, o' course, to kick the ball a-purpose, but how could the umps prove that this wasn't a accident? Ty could of told him that he thought the play was goin' to be close and he'd better slide. I might o' thought it was a accident, too, if that had of been the only time I seen him do it. I can't tell you how many times he's pulled it, but it's grew to be a habit with him. When it comes to scorin' on kicks, he's got this here What's-His-Name—Brickley—tied.
I've saw him score from second base on a ﬂ y ball, too; a ﬂy ball that was catched. Others has did it, but not as regular as this guy. He come awful near gettin' away with it agin a little while ago, in Chi. They was also somebody on third when the ball was hit. The guy on third started home the minute Bodie catched the ball and Ping seen they was no chancet to get him. So he pegs toward Weaver, who's down near third base. Cobb's at third before the ball gets to the inﬁeld. He don't never hesitate. He keeps right on goin' for the plate. Now, if Weaver'd of been able to of intercepted the ball, Ty'd of been out thirty feet. But the throw goes clear through to the third baseman. Then it's relayed home. The gang sittin' with me all thought Ty was safe. I don't know about it, but anyway, he was called out. It just goes to show you what this guy's liable to do. You can't take no afternoon nap when he's around. They's lots of other fast guys, but while they're thinkin' about what they're goin' to do, he's did it. He's ﬁgurin' two or three bases ahead all the while. So, as I say, you don't get no sleep with him in the game.
Fielder Jones used to tell us: "When that bird's runnin', throw the ball somewheres just's soon as you get a-hold of it. I don't care where you throw it, but throw it somewheres. Don't hold onto it."
I seen where the papers says the other day that you outguessed him. I wasn't out to that game. I guess you got away with somethin' all right, but don't feel too good about it. You're worse off now than you was before you done it because he won't never rest till he shows you up. You stopped him oncet, and just for that he'll make you look like a rummy next time he plays agin you. And after he's did it oncet and got even, he'll do it agin. And then he'll do it agin. They's a lot o' fellas round this league that's put over a smart play on Tyrus and most of 'em has since wished they hadn't. It's just like as if I'd go out and lick a policeman. I'd live to regret it.
We had a young fella oncet, a catcher, that nailed him ﬂatfooted off 'n ﬁrst base one day. It was in the ﬁrst game of a serious. Ty didn't get on no more that day, but he walked the ﬁrst time up the followin' afternoon. They was two out. He takes a big lead and the young fella pegs for him agin. But Tyrus was off like a streak when the ball was throwed, and about the time the ﬁrst baseman was catchin' it, he was slidin' into second. Then he gets a big lead off 'n second and the young catcher takes a shot for him there. But he throws clear to center ﬁeld and Ty scores. The next guy whiffs, so they wouldn't of been no run if the young guy hadn't of got so chesty over the precedin' day's work. I'm tellin' you this so's you won't feel too good.
They's times when a guy does try to pull something on this Cobb, and is made to look like a sucker without deservin' it. I guess that's because the Lord is for them that helps themselves and don't like to see nobody try to show 'em up.
I was sittin' up in the stand in Cleveland one day. Ty was on second base when somebody hits a ﬂy ball, way out, to Birmingham. At that time, Joe had the best throwin' arm you ever see. He could shoot like a riﬂe. Cobb knowed that, o' course, and didn't feel like takin' no chancet, even though Joe was pretty far out there. Ty waits till the ball's catched and then makes a bluff to go to third, thinkin' Birmy'd throw and that the ball might get away. Well, Joe knows that Cobb knows what kind of arm he's got and ﬁ gures that the start from second is just a bluff ; that he ain't really got no intention o' goin'. So, instead o' peggin' to third, he takes a quick shot for second, hopin' to nail Cobb before he can get back. The throw's perfect and Cobb sees where he's trapped. So he hikes for third. And the second sacker—I don't think the big Frenchman was playin' that day—drops the ball. If he'd of held it, he'd of had plenty of time to relay to third and nail Ty by a block. But no. He drops the ball. See? Birmy'd outguessed Ty, but all it done for him was to make him look bad and make Ty look good.
Another time, a long while ago, Detroit needed a run to win from the Sox. Ty gets to ﬁ rst base with one out. Sully was catchin'. Sully signs for a pitch-out and then snaps the ball to ﬁrst base. Ty wasn't lookin' for it and he was caught clean. He couldn't get back to ﬁ rst base, so he goes for second. Big Anderson was playin' ﬁrst base and he makes a bum peg. The ball hits Cobb on the shoulder and bounds so far out in left center that he didn't even have to run to get home. You see, Sully'd outguessed Ty and had pulled a play that ought to of saved the game. Instead o' that, it give the game to Detroit. That's what hurts and discourages a fella from tryin' to pull anything on him.
Sometimes I pretty near think they's nothin' he couldn't do if he really set out to do it. Before you joined the club, some o' the boys was kiddin' him over to Detroit. Callahan was tellin' me about it. Cobb hadn't started hittin'. One o' the players clipped the averages out o' the paper and took 'em to the park. He showed the clippin' to Ty.
"You're some battin' champ, Ty," he says. "Goin' at a .225 clip, eh?"
Tyrus just laughed at him. "I been playin' I was one o' you White Sox," he says. "But wait till a week from to-day. It'll be .325 then."
Well, it wasn't. No, sir! It was .326.
One time, in 1912 I think it was, I happened to be goin' East, lookin' for a job of umpirin', and I rode on the train with the Tigers. I and Cobb et breakfast together. I had a Sunday paper with me and was givin' the averages the oncet over.
"Read 'em to me," says Ty.
"You don't want 'em all, do you?" I says.
"No, no. Just the ﬁrst three of us," he says. "I know about where I'm at, but not exactly."
So I read it to him:
"Jackson's ﬁrst with .412. Speaker's second with .400. You're third with .386."
"Well," says Ty, "I reckon the old boy'd better get busy. Watch me this trip!"
I watched him, through the papers. In the next twenty-one times at bat, he gets exactly seventeen hits, and when the next averages was printed, he was out in front. He stayed there, too.
So I don't know, but I believe that if Jackson and Speaker and Collins and Lajoie and Crawford was to go crazy and hit .999, this Cobb would come out on top with 1,000 even.
He's got a pretty good opinion of himself, but he ain't no guy to really brag. He's just full o' the old conﬁdence. He thinks Cobb's a good ball player, and a guy's got to think that way about himself if he wants to get anywheres. I know a lot o' ball players that gets throwed out o' the league because they think the league's too fast for 'em. It's diff 'rent with Tyrus. If they was a league just three times as fast as the one he's in and if he was sold up there, he'd go believin' he could lead it in battin'. And he'd lead it too!
Yes, sir, he's full o' that old stuff , and the result is that lots o' people that don't know him think he's a swell-head, and don't like him. But I'm tellin' you that he's a pretty good guy now, and the rest o' the Tigers is strong for him, which is more'n they used to be. He busted in with a chip on his shoulder, and he soon become just as popular as the itch. Everybody played him for a busher and started takin' liberties with him. He was a busher, too, but he was one o' the kind that can't take a joke. You know how they's young fellas that won't stand for nothin'. Then they's them that stands for too much. Then they's the kind that's just about half way. You can go a little ways with 'em, but not too far. That's the kind that's popular.
Cobb wouldn't stand for nothin'. If somebody poured ketchup in his coffee, he was liable to pick up the cup and throw it at the guy nearest to him. If you'd stepped on his shine, he'd of probably took the other foot and aimed it at you like he does now at the ball when it's lyin' loose on the ground. If you'd called him some name on the ﬁeld, he'd of walloped you with a bat, even if you was his pal. So they was all stuck on him, was they not?
He got trimmed a couple o' times, right on his own club, too. But when they seen what kind of a ball player he was goin' to be, they decided they'd better not kill him. It's just as well for 'em they didn't. I'd like to know where their club would of ﬁnished—in 1907 and 1908, for instance—if it hadn't of been for him. It was nobody but him that beat us out in 1908. I'll tell you about it later on.
I says to him one day not long ago, I says:
"You wasn't very strong with the boys when you ﬁrst come up. What was the trouble?"
"Well," he says, "I didn't understand what was comin' off . I guess they meant it all right, but nobody'd tipped me that a busher's supposed to be picked on. They were hazin' me; that's what they were doin', hazin' me. I argued with 'em because I didn't know better."
"You learned, though, didn't you?" I says.
"Oh, yes," says Ty, "I learned all right."
"Maybe you paid for your lessons, too," I says.
"Maybe I did," he says.
"Well," I says, "would you act just the same way if you had it to do over again?"
"I reckon so," he says.
And he would, too, because if he was a diff 'rent kind o' guy, he wouldn't be the ball player he is.
Say, maybe you think I didn't hate him when I was playin' ball. I didn't know him very well, see? But I hated him on general principles. And I never hated him more'n I did in 1908. That was the year they beat us out o' the big dough the last day o' the season, and it come at a time when I needed that old dough, because I knowed darn well that I wasn't goin' to last no ten years more or nothin' like that.
You look over the records now, and you'll see that the Detroit club and us just about broke even on the year's serious agin each other. I don't know now if it was exactly even or not, or, if it wasn't, which club had the best of it. But I do know one thing, and that is that they beat us ﬁve games that we'd ought to of copped from 'em easy and they beat us them games for no other reason than that they had this here Georgia Peach.
The records don't show no stuff like that, but I can remember most o' them games as if they was played yesterday; that is, Cobb's part in 'em. In them days, they had Crawford hittin' third and Cobb fourth and Rossman ﬁ fth. Well, one day we had 'em licked by three runs in the seventh innin'. Old Nick was pitchin' for us and Sully was catchin'. Tannehill was at third base and Hahn was switched from right to left ﬁeld because they was somethin' the matter with Dougherty. Well, this seventh innin' come, as I was sayin', and we was three runs to the good. Crawford gets on someway and Cobb singles. Jones thought Nick was slippin', so he hollered for Smitty. Smitty comes in and pitches to big Rossman and the big guy hits one back at him. Smitty had the easiest kind of a double play starin' him in the face—a force play on Crawford at third and then the rest of it on Rossman, who wasn't no speed marvel. But he makes a bad peg to Tannie and the ball gets by him. It didn't look like as if Crawford could score, and I guess he was goin' to stop at third.
But Tyrus didn't pay no attention to Crawford. He'd saw the wild peg and he was bound to keep right on comin'. So Crawford's got to start home to keep from gettin' run over. Hahn had come in to get the ball and when he seen Crawford startin' home, he cut loose a wild peg that went clear to the bench. Crawford and Cobb both scored, o' course, and what does Ty do but yell at Rossman to follow 'em in, though it looked like sure death. Sully has the ball by that time, but it's just our luck that he has to peg wild too. The ball sailed over Smitty, who'd came up to cover the plate. The score's tied and for no reason but that Tyrus had made everybody run. The next three was easy outs, but they went on and licked us in extra innin's.
Well, they was another game, in that same serious I think it was, when Big Ed had 'em stopped dead to rights. They hadn't no more business scorin' off 'n him than a rabbit. I don't think they hit two balls hard all day. We wasn't the best hittin' club in the world, but we managed to get one run for the Big Moose in the ﬁ rst innin' and that had ought to of been a-plenty.
Up comes Cobb in the fourth and hits one that goes in two bounds to Davis or whoever was playin' short. If he could of took his time, they'd of been nothin' to it. But he has to hurry the play because it's Cobb runnin', and he pegs low. Izzy gets the ball off 'n the ground all right, but juggles it, and then Ty's safe.
They was nobody out, so Rossman bunts. He's throwed out a mile at ﬁ rst base, but Ty goes all the way to third. Then the next guy hits a ﬂy ball to Hahn that wouldn't of been worth a nickel if Cobb'd of went only to second on the sacriﬁce, like a human bein'. He's on third, though, and he scores on the ﬂy ball. The next guy takes three swings and the side's out, but we're tied up.
Then we go along to the ninth innin' and it don't look like they'd score agin on Big Ed if they played till Easter. But Cobb's up in the ninth with one out. He gets the one real healthy hit that they'd made all day. He singled to right ﬁeld. I say he singled, because a single's what anybody else would of been satisﬁed with on the ball he hit. But Ty didn't stop at ﬁrst base. He lights out for second and whoever was in right ﬁeld made a good peg. The ball's there waitin' for Ty, but he slides away from it. Jake thought he had him, but the umps called him safe. Well, Jake gets mad and starts to kick. They ain't no time called or nothin'. The umps turns away and Jake slams the ball on the ground and before anybody could get to it, Cobb's on third. We all hollered murder, but it done us no good. Rossman then hit a ﬂy ball and the game's over.
I remember another two to one game that he win from us. I don't recall who was pitchin'—one o' the left-handers, I guess. Whoever it was had big Rossman on his staff that day. He whiffed him twicet and made him pop out another time. They was one out in the eighth when Cobb beats out a bunt. We was leadin' by one run at the time, so naturally we wanted to keep him on ﬁrst base. Well, whoever it was pitchin' wasted three balls tryin' to outguess Tyrus, and he still stood there on ﬁrst base, laughin' at us. Rossman takes one strike and the pitcher put the next one right over and took a chancet, instead o' runnin' the risk o' walkin' him. Rossman has a toe-hold and he meets the ball square and knocks it clear out o' the park. We're shut out in the ninth and they've trimmed us. You'll say, maybe, it was Rossman that beat us. It was his wallop all right, but our pitcher wouldn't of wasted all them balls and got himself in the hole if anybody but Cobb'd of been on ﬁrst base.
One day we're tied in the ninth, four to four, or somethin' like that. Cobb doubled and Rossman walked after two was out. Jones pulled Smitty out o' the game and put in Big Ed. Now, nobody was lookin' for Ty to steal third with two out. It's a rotten play when anybody else does it. This ain't no double steal, because Rossman never moved off 'n ﬁrst base. Cobb stole third all right and then, on the next pitch, Rossman starts to steal second. Our catcher oughtn't to of paid no attention to him because Walsh probably could of got the batter and retired the side. It wasn't Sully catchin' or you can bet no play'd of been made. But this catcher couldn't see nobody run without peggin', so he cut loose. Rossman stopped and started back for ﬁrst base. The shortstop ﬁred the ball back home, but he was just too late. Cobb was acrost already and it was over. Now in that case, our catcher'd ought to of been killed, but if Tyrus hadn't did that fool stunt o' stealin' third with two out, they'd of been no chancet for the catcher to pull the boner.
How many did I say he beat us out of? Five? Oh, yes, I remember another one. I can make it short because they wasn't much to it. It was another one o' them tied up affairs, and both pitchers was goin' good. It was Smitty for us and, I think, Donovan for them. Cobb gets on with two down in the tenth or 'leventh and steals second while Smitty stands there with the ball in his hand. Then Rossman hits a harmless lookin' ground ball to the shortstop. Cobb runs down the line and stops right in front o' where the ball was comin', so's to bother him. But Ty pretends that he's afraid the ball's goin' to hit him. It worked all right. The shortstop got worried and juggled the ball till it was too late to make a play for Rossman. But Cobb's been monkeyin' so long that he ain't nowheres near third base and when the shortstop ﬁ nally picks up the ball and pegs there, Cobb turns back. Well, they'd got him between 'em and they're tryin' to drive him back toward second. Somebody butts in with a muff and he goes to third base. And when Smitty starts to pitch agin, he steals home just as clean as a whistle.
The last game o' the season settled the race, you know. I can't say that Tyrus won that one for 'em. They all was due to hit and they sure did hit. Cobb and Crawford both murdered the ball in the ﬁ rst innin' and won the game right there, because Donovan was so good we didn't have no chancet. But if he hadn't of stole them other games off 'n us, this last one wouldn't of did 'em no good. We could of let our young fellas play that one while we rested up for the world's serious.
I don't say our club had a license to be champions that year. We was weak in spots. But we'd of got the big dough if it hadn't of been for Tyrus. You can bet your life on that.
You can easy see why I didn't have no love for him in them days. And I'll bet the fellas that was on the Ath-a-letics in 1907 felt the same toward him, because he was what kept 'em from coppin' that year. I ain't takin' nothin' away from Jennin's and Crawford and Donovan and Bush and Mullin and McIntire and Rossman and the rest of 'em. I ain't tryin' to tell you that them fellas ain't all had somethin' to do with Detroit's winnin' in diff 'rent years. Jennin's has kept 'em ﬁ ghtin' right along, and they's few guys more valuable to their club than Crawford. He busted up a lot o' games for 'em in their big years and he's doin' it yet. And I consider Bush one o' the best inﬁ elders I ever see. The others was all right, too. They all helped. But this guy I'm tellin' you about knocked us out o' the money by them stunts of his that nobody else can get by with.
It's all foolishness to hate a fella because he's a good ball player, though. I realize that now that I'm out of it. I can go and watch Tyrus and enjoy watchin' him, but in them days it was just like pullin' teeth whenever he come up to the plate or got on the bases. He was reachin' right down in my pocket and takin' my money. So it's no wonder I was sore on him.
If I'd of been on the same club with him, though, I wouldn't never of got sore at him no matter how fresh he was. I'd of been afraid that he might get so sore at me that he'd quit the club. He could of called me anything he wanted to and got away with it or he could have took me acrost his knee and spanked me eighty times a day, just so's he kept on puttin' money in my kick instead o' beatin' me out of it.
As I was sayin', I enjoy seein' him play now. If the game's rotten or not, it don't make no diff'rence, and it don't make a whole lot even if he's havin' a bad day. They's somethin' fascinatin' in just lookin' at the baby.
I ain't alone in thinkin' that, neither. I don't know how many people he draws to the ball parks in a year, but it's enough to start a big manufacturin' town and a few suburbs. You heard about the crowd that was out to the Sox park the Sunday they was two rival attractions in town? It was in the spring, before you come. Well, it was some crowd. Now, o' course, the Sox draw good at home on any decent Sunday, but I'm tellin' you they was a few thousands out there that'd of been somewheres else if Cobb had of stayed in Georgia.
I was in Boston two or three years ago this summer and the Tigers come along there for a serious o' ﬁ ve games, includin' a double-header. The Detroit club wasn't in the race and neither was the Red Sox. Well, sir, I seen every game and I bet they was seventy thousand others that seen 'em, or better'n ﬁfteen thousand a day for four days. They was some that was there because they liked baseball. They was others that was stuck on the Red Sox. They was still others that was strong for the Detroit club. And they was about twenty-ﬁve or thirty thousand that didn't have no reason for comin' except this guy I'm tellin' you about. You can't blame him for holdin' out oncet in awhile for a little more money. You can't blame the club for slippin' it to him, neither.
They's a funny thing I've noticed about him and the crowds. The fans in the diff'rent towns hates him because he's beat their own team out o' so many games. They hiss him when he pulls off somethin' that looks like dirty ball to 'em. Sometimes they get so mad at him that you think they're goin' to tear him to pieces. They holler like a bunch of Indians when some pitcher's good enough or lucky enough to strike him out. And at the same time, right down in their hearts, they're disappointed because he did strike out.
How do I know that? Well, kid, I've felt it myself, even when I was pullin' agin Detroit. I've talked to other people and they've told me they felt the same way. When they come out to see him, they expect to see him do somethin'. They're glad if he does and glad if he don't. They're sore at him if he don't beat their team and they're sore if he does. It's a funny thing and I ain't goin' to sit here all night tryin' to explain it.
But, say, I wisht I was the ball player he is. They could throw pop bottles and these here bumbs at me, and I wouldn't kick. They could call me names from the stand, but I wouldn't care. If the whole population o' the United States hated me like they think they hate him, I wouldn't mind, so long's I could just get back in that old game and play the ball he plays. But if I could, kid, I wouldn't have no time to be talkin' to you.
The other day, I says to Callahan:
"What do you think of him?"
"Think of him!" says Cal. "What could anybody think of him? I think enough of him to wish he'd go and break a leg. And I'm not sore on him personally at that."
"Don't you like to see him play ball?" I says.
"I'd love to watch him," says Cal, "if I could just watch him when he was playin' Philadelphia or Washington or any club but mine."
"I guess you'd like to have him, wouldn't you?" I says.
"Me?" says Cal. "All I'd give for him is my right eye."
"But," I says, "he must keep a manager worried some, in one way and another; you'd always be afraid he was goin' to break his own neck or cut somebody else's legs off or jump to the Fed'rals or somethin'."
"I'd take my chances," says Cal. "I believe I could even stand the worry for a few days."
I seen in the papers where McGraw says Eddie Collins is the greatest ball player in the world. I ain't goin' to argue with him about it, because I got nothin' but admiration for Collins. He's a bear. But, kid, I wisht McGraw had to play twenty-two games a year agin this Royston Romper. No, I don't, neither. McGraw never done nothin' to me.