In honor of his new book (and in grudging acknowledgment of Frat Boy Thanksgiving), we give you Dan Jenkins's famous list, from Baja Oklahoma:

  • Witty and Charming.
  • Rich and Powerful.
  • Benevolent.
  • Clairvoyant.
  • Fuck Dinner.
  • Patriotic.
  • Crank Up the Enola Gay.
  • Witty and Charming, Part II.
  • Invisible.
  • Bulletproof.

If you're unfamiliar with Jenkins, start with Bryan Curtis's great profile on Grantland, then work your way through the Sports Illustrated archives, beginning here.

More Jenkins: The Masters Its Ownself