Originally published in the July 1997 issue of GQ. Reprinted here with permission of the author, whose annotations (as told to Alex Belth) appear throughout the story. Illustration by Sam Woolley.
If you grew up in Cleveland, rooting ten, twenty, thirty years for what was then the most drab and futile team in baseball, you loathed Pete Rose for at least three reasons. You despised him for his skill and for his frenzy to win. You scorned him for being born, reared and revered in Cincinnati, a fussy, gooberous river burg, half Kraut, half hillbilly, buried so far downstate that it essentially was, and is, the capital of north Kentucky. Above all you hated him for July 14, 1970, when he scored the winning run in that year's All-Star Game by maiming the Tribe's finest rookie in decades, a toothy, well-muscled 23-year-old catcher named Ray Fosse. Fosse was planted a stride or two up the third-base line, blocking the plate; Rose wracked him knee to shoulder at full speed. Bruised, Rose missed three games. Fosse dislocated his entire career.
I didn't care that this was not a cheap shot, that it was just the way the game is played. I didn't care that Rose and Fosse had huddled at Rose's home the night before—the game was in Cincy that year—talking baseball until 3 A.M., or that they kept in touch for years thereafter. I watched season after season as Ray Fosse fought to find his stroke, fought and failed, while Rose and his team became the Big Red Machine. I never forgave Pete Rose.
I never forgave Pete Rose, but on August 1, 1978, I discovered that I had ceased merely to loathe him. Having hit safely in forty-four games straight—second only to DiMaggio's untouchable fifty-six in 1941—Rose went hitless that summer night. Feeling strangely bereft, I opened The Baseball Encyclopedia to DiMaggio's name and saw that in '41 he had been 26, in the heart of his glory. Rose was already a wondrous, ageless 37, and I understood then that this brick-bodied motherfucker would dog me forever. Without quite knowing it, I had come to regard him with that same mixture of emotion inspired in cave dwellers by earthquake and eclipse: terror, awe, powerlessness, and surrender. Beyond explanation or entreaty, he simply was and always could be. Even when he stopped playing, in 1986—he was the Reds' player-manager then—Rose refused to officially retire, and I fully expected him to climb out of the dugout at any moment, bat in hand.
He never did. In 1989 Rose was tossed out on his ear, eighty-sixed like a drunk who had pissed on the jukebox. I took no pleasure from it, not even relief; whether he bet illegally or bet on baseball or bet on his own team, he was railroaded, denied due process in a vermin-infested, star-chamber investigation. I felt only wariness, certain he would sue and come back, until the almighty IRS, a force beyond even nature, pinched him for failing to report racetrack winnings and income from memorabilia sales. Pete Rose was finally done for. Before his sentencing, he read a statement asking for the court's mercy—he'd paid the government, plus penalties and interest—his voice choked and quaking, too shamed to lift his head from the page. The judge, a Reds fan, gave him five months, plus a $50,000 fine to cover the cost of his upkeep in the federal prison in—I scarcely could believe it—Marion, Illinois. Ray Fosse's hometown.
If you're a Cleveland Indians fan, that's how it goes: no justice, only irony.
"Lemme tell ya, I love Joe DiMaggio," Pete Rose says, chugging coffee at four in the afternoon. We're at a table near the back bar of the Pete Rose Ballpark Cafe. He's 56, rock hard and proud of it. His jeans are light blue and jock tight; his white ribbed cotton pullover is tucked in at the waist; he has a thick gold chain around one wrist and a battered Rolex around the other. His hair is short, receding—he keeps a ball cap on his head—and bottle-brown. His pugish brow and nose have thickened; the whole face has grown a bit heavier, more coarse; but his eyes, flat brown, still burn, and his voice is the same tough-guy bark. "I went to Vietnam in 1967 just so I could meet Joe DiMaggio. They asked me to go on a goodwill trip. Joe and me went south; the other three guys went north. We had to carry cards that said we were colonels, because if we got captured and we didn't have a card, we'd be considered spies. I was in awe of this guy. I mean, this guy was one of my heroes. I couldn't believe I'm ridin' in helicopters with Joe DiMaggio."
I try to picture them—the 26-year-old hick, crew-cut and knot-faced, five whole seasons in the Bigs under his belt, and the Yankee Clipper, 53 then, an authentic pinstriped deity, silvering, aquiline, regal—squatting flank to flank in a Huey, skimming treetops, skirting enemy fire, Colonel Charlie Hustle's incessant chatter ack-acking above the roar of the chopper and the bullets' whine and the Phrygian silence of Colonel Joltin' Joe.
Then Pete Rose says this: "I gave Joe DiMaggio a shower one night. I gotta be the only guy in the world ever to give Joe DiMaggio a shower."
Say WHAT? It is as if an unearthed Hemingway letter recounted a lazy afternoon in Paris when Papa gave Scott Fitzgerald a foot rub.
"We're down in the Mekong Delta. And it's . . . it's . . . it's a jungle. It's hot. I mean, it's so goddamn hot ya can't sleep. All you can hear goin' off is boom-BOOM, boom-boom-BOOM. It's a war out there. And we're tryin' to sleep. And Joe says, 'I can't sleep.' He says, 'I gotta take a shower.'"
Just then a paunchy white-haired man in a beige zippered jacket wanders over to the table, clutching a photo. Rose takes it from him without a glance, signs it, and hands it back. "Thanks, buddy," Rose says.
The man stands gaping at the glossy in his hands, perplexed. "What's that number there, uh, forty-two fifty-six?" he asks finally.
"That's my prison number," says Rose, poker-faced. Then he returns to the Mekong. "The way you take a shower, you got this big bamboo thing up here, like a pocket." Rose cups his thick, square hands, lifting his forearms above his head. They are massive, tight as tree trunks, covered with dark hair. "You gotta get up on a chair, and you gotta feed the water. Then you pull a string, and the water comes through. So I'm the feeder; Joe's takin' the shower. I'm up on the thing feedin' the water, and he's takin' a shower. Joe DiMaggio."
Rose grins like a schoolboy. He pushes his cap, black leather with a gator-skin bill, back on his head and clasps his hands behind his neck. A large gold pin dangles from the center of the crown of the cap, formed of two letters: HK, for "Hit King." I eye those oaken arms and see Ray Fosse somersaulting backward and coming to rest facedown in the dirt, his left shoulder torn from its socket.
"Joe was the most humble guy I ever seen. We got to sit in a meeting of fighter pilots who were goin' on a mission over North Vietnam. Now you imagine Joe DiMaggio walkin' in. 'Hi, I'm Joe DiMaggio, old broken-down ballplayer,' he used to say. And Joe goes up, and he gets the chalk, and—you know the bombs on the fighter planes? Joe writes 'Fuck Ho' on one. And this one guy came back [after the mission] and told Joe, 'I got an ammunition dump with that thing.' Joe was happy as he could be. 'Fuck Ho,'" Rose repeats, snorting at the memory, shaking his head with delight.
Truly, it is almost more exquisite than I can bear to hear Rose tell about the great DiMaggio in Vietnam. Just then, though, something happens to Pete Rose, something visible and ugly. His face, from brow to chin, turns hard; his eyes go cold; his lips, shrunk to a miser's frown, barely part as he speaks. "Joe DiMaggio don't sell bats," he says, biting off the name. "They're forty-nine ninety-five. That's $4,995. Joe thinks everybody's tryin' to fuck him."
Ray Fosse hit .307 in 1970, .307 with good power, and never again came close. He played out his enfeebled string, built a pension, found a broadcast job. DiMaggio, wealthy and still worshiped, is an ice-hearted, reclusive old man. Something worse happened to Pete Rose. Something odd and slow and subtle, something that swallowed him up and took him drifting down into nothingness, into a pale nearly beyond remembrance. Go figure. Had Rose simply croaked or grown doddering, we might have pondered how this brash hayseed colossus bestrode and embodied, like Elvis or Ali, an entire era, spoke with his rough art to the soul of a nation. Instead people hear the name, pause, and say, "Oh, sure. Hasn't he got a restaurant somewhere?"
The Pete Rose Ballpark Cafe looks like any other edifice in Boca Raton, Florida, which is to say that it has a blank exterior of pinkish tan stucco. To find it, you should know that it is joined to the side of a tannish pink Holiday Inn, whose clover green marquee is one of a very few clues that the entire length of Glades Road from the freeway to the turnpike is not simply a palm-dotted, lizard-infested, pinkish tan strip mall erected to service the needs of an army of frosted-blonde women wielding scarlet talons, silver Lexi, and platinum Visas.
You may be tempted to order the Hall of Fame Chicken Scallopini. Don't. Irony is no substitute for flair in the kitchen. Stick with a burger.
Your chef is Dave Rose, Pete's younger brother. Except for Dave's stringy, shoulder-length hair, the basketball-sized gut beneath his grease-spattered apron, and the slack derangement of his eyes, he and Pete look much alike. Something happened to Dave Rose, too: Vietnam. He didn't go with DiMaggio.
The staff wears tags with their hometowns printed under their names. Everyone is young, trim, female, and from New York or New Jersey. Pete's customers are more typical Boca dwellers: fat old men from New York or New Jersey. Pete's afternoon routine is coffee, the sports page, and banter with the staff about fellatio technique, but today he's also doing business with Marty. Hoarse, fat, and fiftyish, Marty hails from Boca via New York's Upper West Side. His business is marketing sports memorabilia.
"I'm gonna throw out a name," Marty says, "a very, very dear friend of mine. I've got very few friends. Marv Shapiro. Dr. Marv Shapiro."
"Marv Shapiro," Rose says. "I don't know who that is."
"Marv Shapiro is an ear, nose, and throat guy. He has, and I've seen it, your jersey from when you broke Cobb's record."
Rose shakes his head.
"No?" Marty rasps, his eyes wide. "He swears he paid you twenty-five grand for it. No?"
"I said I was gonna use three jerseys," says Rose. "I only used one. I used that one right over there. Marge Schott's got one. I gave one to Barry Halpern for that Ty Cobb bust up there. Did he say he got it from me?"
"Yeah, and he's not a bullshitter. Great guy. Tremendous guy. Very successful guy."
"He might be a great guy," Rose tells Marty, "but he's a goddamn liar."
Marty sighs, crestfallen, searching for the right tone, the right words. When he speaks, his voice is heavy with sorrow. "The fraud that is running rampant in this business is perpetuated daily," he says.
While I wonder if Marge Schott and Barry Halpern know that Rose snookered them—an unworn game jersey is not a game jersey—Marty recovers nicely. "My idea," he tells Rose, "is to put out something that you authorize. I'll do all the promoting. I'll go to every show. It won't interfere with you at all. To me it would be a privilege to work with you."
Rose sips the coffee. "I think you could really sell bats with 'Charlie Hustle,'" he muses. "I've never signed 'Charlie Hustle' on a bat." Marty beams at me, radiant, and begins squeaking with joy. "Ooooh, that coy little, sly little fox. He's Charlie Hustle. They call me 'Marty Hustle.' Ooooh. When—not if —he gets put into the Hall of Fame? Right to the moon. He knows it, too. Ooooh, is he good. And he's young; he could be signing for the next thirty years."
At the Pete Rose Ballpark Cafe Gift Shop, a signed copy of the black Mizuno that Rose used in the later years of his career goes for only $250. For $75 less, you can get a copy of his old Louisville Slugger. Take it from Pete, though: "I wouldn't even look at that Louisville. I broke the record with a black Mizuno."
The record. Rose mentions it often, just as he adds it as a coda to his signature: "4256," more career hits than anyone in the history of baseball. He harps on this because he knows that despite "4256" he never reached the Yahwehvian stature of Mays and Mantle and, yes, DiMaggio; unbeloved, he was not even, like the demigods Clemente and Kaline, much admired. Not only did Rose lack the supple arrogance of grace, the titanic strength and propulsive speed, even the innocent exuberance of an aw-shucks kid—he had none of the stuff that drops jaws and warms hearts—but also, and crucially, the little boy inside Pete Rose came off as a runtish bully, the outer man as an imperious lout.
What made Rose a great player was an invincible physique coupled with a monomaniacal fervor unseen since the demise of the baseball god most closely linked to him, the shiv-wielding madman whose record Rose chased for twenty-three years: Ty Cobb. Rose grew so obsessed with Cobb that he named his second son, Tyler, for him, and on the night Rose broke the record in 1985, he saw Cobb above the stadium lights, sitting in the clouds. Dead since 1961, Cobb has no bats to hawk, but a huge copper bust of him sits rooted upon a waist-high railing just past the Ballpark Cafe's hostess station, where the Georgia Peach glares out from eternal captivity into the cafe's enormous, glassed-in game room. Like Rose, Cobb departed the game not long after he was investigated by the league for wagering on the team he played for and managed. No finding was announced; he simply retired and was in the first group of players voted into baseball's Hall of Fame at its inception in 1936.
Something far worse happened to Pete Rose. The agreement reached in 1989 with Commissioner Bartlett Giamatti—six months of inquisition had yielded a 2,000-page report based mainly upon the sworn word of two felons—stated plainly that there was no finding that Rose had bet on baseball games and that he could seek reinstatement in a year without prejudice. But at Giamatti's press conference announcing the agreement, he was asked if he thought that Rose had bet on baseball. "Personally," Giamatti replied, "yes."
Rose, gagged by edict of the commissioner throughout the entire ordeal, unable to defend himself, forbidden to question his accusers, saw this on television in his lawyer's office in Cincinnati and nearly shat his pants. He had spent a million and a half in lawyers' fees negotiating the agreement Giamatti had just trashed the day after it was signed. The IRS was sniffing at his door. His career was kaput; his endorsements were gone. He was fucked, and he knew it.
Something worse than all of that—something closely resembling justice—happened to Bart Giamatti, ex-president of Yale, wooed from the Ivy League to reign over baseball, qualified for the job only by having had the sort of love affair with the game unique to fey, pristine intellectuals. "Reconfigure your life," the commissioner told Rose at their last meeting, sending Rose out from the only life he had ever known. Then, after his press conference, Giamatti repaired to Martha's Vineyard for a week of rest and recovery, nodded off in a hammock, and never woke up.
Rose has yet to apply for reinstatement. Giamatti was replaced by his pudgy steward, Fay Vincent, whom Rose blames for keeping him off the Hall of Fame ballot. "That lying son of a bitch," Rose calls him. Vincent was ousted by a club owners' uprising in 1992; the chair has been empty ever since, the game itself nearly consumed by its cannibal kings. Meanwhile, Rose wanders through his horse-hide diaspora, Kafka in cleats. He may buy a ticket to see a game, but visiting old mates in the broadcast booth is off-limits. When a Cincinnati bakery designed a poster to commemorate the Big Red Machine's last championship, baseball informed it that an action photo of Rose was verboten. A group pose including him was okey-dokey.
I phoned the offices of Major League Baseball to ask what happened and what might happen to Pete Rose; my calls were not returned. I phoned Rose's former lawyer, who negotiated the Giamatti agreement; he had his secretary call back to say that he wasn't interested in talking. I also tried Rose's current attorney. He rang back and answered all my questions, each with the same words: "No comment."
I ask Rose what Bart Giamatti had meant by telling him to re-configure his life.
"He never said. I assume that means be very selective of the people that I'm hangin' around with, and no more illegal gambling." He still bets, he says, but only at the track. He lives in Boca; his second wife, Carol, and their two children live in Los Angeles. Rose says he gets out to see them as often as he can. "I talk to my kids every day," he says in an aggrieved tone, as if he feels accused of yet another crime. "You have to do what you have to do."
Weeknights he does the syndicated, two-hour "Pete Rose Show" from a radio studio adjacent to the kitchen. Rose's on-air partner—Rose is neither glib nor focused enough to work alone—joins in on a phone hookup from Vegas. There is much talk of point spreads and odds, and a total of three phone calls are taken during the entire show. Through the Plexiglas window, customers gape and take snapshots of Rose yapping into the mike. In the booth, I can smell the potatoes frying, then hot cheese, as brother Dave weaves his culinary magic.
During one five-minute break for ads and a news update, Rose signs five dozen baseballs. While a producer and Rose's fan-club president open the boxes for him, he autographs the sixty balls in four and one-half minutes, digitally timed.
"I can't read this one," the producer says, winking at me.
"They're all the same," says Rose, pen gripped tightly, hunched in concentration, unsmiling, not looking up. After signing each ball with a smooth stroke that seems to be one careful, continuous motion, he rolls it away, down the table, toward me. The tail of each final e in Pete lifts to cross the t before it. Each curlicued R flows into the combined os in an almost floral kiss. He's absolutely right: they are all the same.
Late January in West Texas beneath a warm, high, blue noon sky, and the place is blasted, bleak. It's the land, skillet flat and dust brown, punctured by bobbing, creaking, sucking metal; it's the enormous, yellowing Space for Rent placards pleading from every oil tower and the ground-floor windows of every bank and most of the other buildings on the twenty-mile stretch from downtown Midland to the Ector County Coliseum in Odessa; it's the late-morning Saturday caravan of pickups moving sluglike down the road, each with its own wizened, check-shirted driver, lip bulging with either a pinch of snuff or a mouth tumor, each with his ten-gallon hat pulled down to his furled eyebrows. One weekend a month, sometimes more, Pete Rose hits the road for a card show. Today he's here.
Except that it turns out to be a boat show, not a card show, and the Ector County Coliseum is not a coliseum at all but a beehive of separate metal outbuildings surrounded by a chain-link fence. The main edifice, which might pass for a coliseum to people whose entire lives are spent dangling from oil rigs, is filled with gap-toothed salesmen fondly stroking big-ticket water vessels that seem exactly as useful here in the Permian Basin as a Psalter in hell.
Chaperoned by two skinny Odessa cops, his eyes shaded by the bill of his "Hit King" cap, shod in off-white ostrich-skin half boots and sporting a diamond-dusted Piaget on his meaty wrist, Rose sits behind a long table on a small wooden stage in Barn G. Behind him hangs a huge poster, blue with silver stars and marked with the cramped John Hancock of Dallas Cowboys defensive-tackle emeritus Jethro Pugh, yesterday's big draw. Ed "Too Tall" Jones was scheduled earlier this morning, but he didn't show. Former Cowboys safety Cliff Harris is due in two hours.
Rose is not grinning. "You don't have one guy charging money for an autograph and two or three other guys signing for free," he crabs. "I'm not used to doing shows where I don't sell out. The only way you don't sell me out is if you fuck it up."
The West Texas Marine Dealers Association has indeed fucked it up. It has paid Rose $18,000 for 1,000 autographs—below his standard twenty grand but enough to get him here—and it's charging the public only fifteen bucks per signature, five less, Rose says, than his own floor. So it has guaranteed itself a $3,000 loss, minimum, undercut the value of the only meal ticket Pete Rose has left, and just for humiliation's sake, it is trotting out these retired Dallas Cowboys—each of whom, however obscure, is the local equivalent of the Lubavitcher rebbe—into the same barn where the "Hit King" is enthroned.
About fifty people wait behind a roped-off set of stairs for Rose to begin signing; in addition to the $5 admission fee at the main building, they've forked over the extra $15 at a small booth marked by a spray of balloons near the entrance and received a hand-numbered slip of paper good for one Pete Rose autograph. First in line is a woman cradling the generic bat she has brought for a colleague dying of cancer. Rose's policy is name only, no personalization, but he adds "To Don, Good Luck" above his signature. He offers the boys his hand to squeeze, calls all the men "buddy" and lets folks snap his photo as they please. He seems downright cheerful now, until he realizes that the policeman flanking him isn't collecting the $15 slips.
"You gotta keep the tickets, buddy," Rose instructs in deliberately calm, measured tones, as if speaking to a toddler, "or they'll get back in line again."
The officer peers at him with knitted brow, and vacant eves. "Oh, raaht," he says, finally, flushing. "Raaahht."
With the first rush of business over, Rose is alone onstage with two hours left to sit, visited occasionally by a few treasure hunters and, just as often, by men his age or older, their faces weather-lined and boyishly shy, who want only to shake his hand and speak their awkward piece.
"When you gonna make your comeback?" asks one, a rangy gent in newly pressed Levi's.
"This is my comeback." Rose, seeing nothing to sign, looks down at the table.
"But when they gon' putcha in the Hall of Fame, Pete?'
"I'm waitin'." "Well, we are, too." "It's not up to me," Rose reminds him. "Yeah, ah know."
Like Rose, he has nowhere to go, nothing to do. Later he will climb behind the wheel of his pickup and plod home. For now he is content to stand a spell in front of Pete Rose and shift his cud from cheek to cheek. Rose fiddles with his pens, lining them up on the table, capping and uncapping them.
'Well, so long, Pete," the guy says after a long silence, 'jest ain't a Hall of Fame 'thout you innit." He heads slowly toward the stairs.
Rose turns to me. "People receive me, don't they?" he asks. He sounds tired, plaintive. I have no idea what he means.
"People receive me, don't they?" he repeats.
"Yes, I suppose they do."
"Not only here, but where you been. They recognize me."
They do the only justice left to him now, these old men who share the obliquity of their love in return for the singles and doubles he stroked back in 1965. Sitting in a tin shed with his silly cap, his $40,000 watch and gold bracelet, his police armada, his plane ticket back to Boca in his leather satchel, he can't grasp the irony, although his eyes betray the sadness of it.
What happened to Pete Rose his 4,256 hits can't undo; they can't shake his naked craving for assurance, not only that he still exists but that he will never not exist. Whatever befell him, I can imagine nothing worse: to grow old 2,500 miles from wife and children, hungry for the passing love of strangers.
With an hour to go, he has signed exactly 227 autographs, and a marine dealers' rep starts to haul up cases of balls and stacks of pictures for him to ink. They have paid him his fee, and, by God, they are going to get their 1,000 Pete Rose signatures.
Studio City, California. Here Pete's wife, Carol, lives with 12-year-old Tyler and 7-year-old Cara. It is a fine house on a high-priced hill two turns off Ventura Boulevard, but nothing grand. The living room is enormous and completely devoid of furnishings. There is a pool out back, of course: this is L.A., where everyone outside of Compton and Pacoima has a pool out back. The most impressive thing about the Rose home is its landlord, Alex Trebek, who lives next door. "When something breaks, Alex comes over in work clothes and a Jeopardy! cap to fix it himself. Pete says Alex Trebek's mother also lives on the block, in the house on the other side of Alex.
We are gathered before a sixty-inch television to view tapes of the golden-tressed Cara, a fetching and adorable survivor of the Jon-Benet Ramsey pageant circuit. Cara is a pro now: guest shots on Ellen, an Amtrak commercial, agent, acting coach, voice coach, fax machine on the kitchen counter to receive her scripts. She sits next to me on the ivory leather couch as we watch footage of her as a rouged and lipsticked 4-year-old Miss Tiny Tots contestant, slowly, slowly, slowly doing full splits in her silver spangles and white leotard. Her lush chestnut tresses frame a small, satin apple of a face; she has a sweet, easy smile and dewy, knowing angel's eyes. She is, in short, terrifying. She is not jailbait; she is castration bait, Depo-Provera bait, short-eyes-gets-eviscerated-in-the-shower bait.
Snub-nosed, spike-haired Tyler also acts, and he plays catcher on his Little League team. He has a ring from Cooperstown, where his team won some kind of tournament. "He beat me there." Pete says. "Can you believe that?" He sounds more miffed than proud.
As for Carol, she is tawny haired and leather booted, her spandex workout clothes packed top and bottom by the hand of God himself. She doesn't scare me; I am drinking her in and wondering what happened to Pete Rose that makes him want to live 2,500 miles away in Boca Raton.
After the children go to bed, Pete inserts a tape of himself on Larry King Live. It is every bit as incisive and interesting as any of Larry King's oeuvre. In the final segment, Tyler and Cara appear at Pete's side, which, he tells me now, was the whole point of his appearance. "That helps me," he says, "when people see my kids, how talented they are and how down-to-earth they are and how nice they are. And how confident they are."
They are all that and more, and I silently forecast harrowing futures for them both. What happened to Pete Rose—his life and dreams, his present and future, all mortgaged to the past—is happening to his children, who haven't lived his cursed, infamous life yet are the means of its redemption in his eyes. Like most of us, he does not, cannot, see the brutal, common imprisonment of legacy. His own father was a bank clerk who played semipro football into his forties and drove Pete to focus every fiber of self on making the major leagues. Pete's own first-born son, Pete Junior, 27, has labored in the minor leagues for the past nine seasons in four different organizations without giving anyone reason to offer him a single at-bat in the majors. What happens to us, all of us, is, first of all, what happened to our fathers.
He bet, bet big, bet often, bet illegally, partnered with steroid-crazed gym rats, coke dealers, and ratfuck scum. Down $34,000 on college hoops in the winter of '86, he left town on business; his runner switched bookies while Rose was away. A snafu ensued over the debt and its payoff, followed by a rebuffed blackmail threat directed at Rose—and that, according to Rose, is how the whole thing blew up. A runner took his tale—that Rose had bet on baseball, on his own team—to Sports Illustrated and to a new scholar-commissioner who wanted to earn his spurs.
Rose says he never bet on baseball—not on the Reds, not on any team. Did he? I don't fucking know; no one will ever know. Which is why he must be presumed innocent until proved otherwise in a court of law where his accusers aren't also his judge and jury; precisely why he has no burden of proof to meet. Rose could have taken another route, tested Giamatti's mettle and the strength of his case and the power of his office; instead he signed the agreement. It was all he could hope for, he says now: no finding that he bet on the game and a shot at reinstatement.
"Three days later, the son of a bitch dies," Rose growls. "The son of a bitch dies, and everybody forgets all about the agreement."
Even if you don't believe him, don't love baseball, don't like Pete Rose, it's a sour thing to hear him say that he goes to Cooperstown each summer on the weekend of induction to sign autographs for the pilgrims on Friday and Saturday and skips town before the ceremonies on Sunday. Even if you don't believe in justice, it's agony to hear him tell about the halfway house—he spent three months there after the five in Marion—where he bunked with paroled rapists and murderers and found himself taunted and pushed around, even by the house staff. They even stole his clothes.
"I kept my mouth shut," he says, each word a drop of lye. "I didn't complain. I didn't bitch. But I shouldn'ta went. It was wrong."
It was wrong, what happened to Pete Rose. But there is no justice, only irony. Which brings us, finally, to what happened to young Fosse.
"I started to go headfirst," Rose begins, rising from his chair, coming at me, big and fit and strong, the cask of his chest and his arms hewn of oak, "but he had home plate blocked. So I'm comin' in from third base, and this is home plate, and I'm comin' this way, and he's standin' like this"—he turns and crouches, Fosse was waiting for the throw, his legs astride the base line. "Now why in the hell am I gonna slide into home plate? My knee hit his shoulder, here. If I go headfirst, I'm gonna break both my collarbones. People don't know that. All they know is they think I ruined his career."
Ach. Something happened to Pete Rose, a man as hard as a spear of boned ash: he gambled and lost, came to bat more often than anyone in baseball history, and never once connected with another human being. He has a restaurant somewhere.
Scott Raab writes for Esquire and is the author of The Whore of Akron: One Man's Search for the Soul of LeBron James. Follow him on Twitter, @ScottRaab64. Photos via Getty.
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